Tuesday, June 01, 2010

dream home

Well, I am not keeping this blog up very well, but life has really taken us odwn a very interesting path.  As my last entry indicated, we sold our home without it being on the market, and then sat in limbo as we searched for another home.  Our search led me to really seek the Father's guiding hand, and through just being open to whateveer He had prepared, we found a lovely house.
Let me backtrack.
I felt the Spirit leading me to guide my family through what my heart was going through.  To pray together and sek the Lord for a new home.  I felt that this was OUR journey, and they needed to witness the process of stepping out in faith.  So we intentionally went out on a prayer walk as a family.  We listened, made a list of wishes for the next house we were loking for and asked each of our children to listen and reflect what they heard.  This was quite... well it wasnt SCARY, but it was like free falling.  Im glad Im not God, because I panic too easily.  What happened after this was a bottoming out of options and a bit more depseration and waiting.  I heard through a friend of the fmaily that a couple nearby had their hime up for sale and it was relly nice, for the top price we had been in the market for.  It was a private sale, but their buyers fell through.  I set up a meeting with them to se their home and check it out (with my mommy in tow).  The Holy SPirit was prompting me throughout.  BE PATIENT.  BE OPEN.  BE HONEST.  BE UPFRONT.  CONNECT, IT WILL MATTER.  The home was exactly what we were looking for.  It was more than we were thinking we could get with our price range, with extras.  My eldest son, after I took him over to meet this elderly couple, lit up.  This meant the world to me, as change for him can be very trying.
Now on the sad part, the couple we bought from were facing a hardship and crisis time in their lives, thus making them need to move, which is not the way you want to se someone leave their home.  THey loved their home, the view, the setup.  But she could no longer navigate the stairs with her health and they were both getting too limited to keep things up the way they needed to.  Our approaching them made things much simpler for them.
So now we have been in the house for a month almost.  It is an amazing house for us.  It has been such a rollercoaster ride of uncertainty, but of a steady level of faith that the Father had a plan,, and he would leave us unsheltered.
Faith works in interesting ways.  We as a family have been praying for our next home, in my heart since we last moved 5 years ago.  Faith required us to dream, to step out and initiate, to trust in providence, to have both patience and heightened expectation.  It kept my eyes not on what we dont have but on the provision of the moment.  It also challenged me to trust.  Now reading my previous posts, you may pick up that we havent had the greatest of year in 2009.  To trust confronts much of how I have perceieved life to throw curb balls, to see the darkness of humanity, to see God as someone who will allow suffering and yet bless his children immensely.  These seem contradictary.  I had some meltdowns.  Times where trust was sodifficult, I would close my eyes and see my loving father and feel deep pain, pain that was cause by brokeness we had witnessed and suffered through.  Was this move healing?  Yes, I beleive it was part of the process.  For one, a fresh start is helpful.  But moreso, it was an excercise to see life as more than a series of unfortunate events.
My children also got to unite with me and Pam in prayer and to watch and wait as we saw the Lord initiate our dream.  How precious!  This was to me a milestone in our life together.  One of many to celebrate.  It tested us, but not in a trial way, but more in a way that confronted that which needed to learn in our hearts.

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