I have no idea if I can keep this up for posting, but I thought it would be cool to blog about my latest huge task: my Masters Degree. It has been on the horizon since God tarted leading my wife Pam and I before we got married. A long long process has brought me to the right time, the right way to pursue this as a career choice. There is something God is doing, and my masters is a part of it. I am into my 6th course of 20, which is remarkable and daunting. Understanding my world view, how I see human nature, how I see sickness and health, all are a part of this process. Deep and critical thoughts are now part of my daily processing. I must be able to convey how I think we all get to where we are going in life, how we function as humans and what my role is in helping others to heal and to change.
I remember times when people have prayed for me, discerning that there is healing in my hands and within my gifting. God then sent me into places where I had no influence on other people's healing, rather I was to go through a healing of my own, to let go of needing to fix people and to embrace my own shortcomings. A reckoning is part of my journey. So whatever healing looks like I will need to perhaps blog it out.
This week i am looking at how I feel God communicates. I am learning that there are those who have spent their entire careers, their entire journeys pontificating about such enormous questions. I think a lot on these things on a personal level. I believe God speaks to all humans. I believe He is a communicator, one who would relate to those he created in his image, to reveal himself, and then to specifically bring messages to individuals and groups. How does this fit a counselling career? If I am clear about my own thoughts on spirituality and accepting of how people might differ or be on the same page, I will be able to meet them in their own spaces and join in the struggle. God is speaking to them too whether they perceive this or not, but I will need to separate my own journey and be the person God created me to be as I walk alongside those who need a journey person with them for a time too. Can they hear HIm? Am I being transformed and exuding the grace and love that I see in Christ? Yes, I will go there. I will heal. Ill talk with you about your journey, its important.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Teddy Bear Picnic Cupcakes
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Oz, Narnia, Hogwarts and Other Signs of Heaven
I woke up from a light sleep last night and began thinking about what many people draw into when they are under duress: escape.
When I read many pieces of children's literature, often in the main character there is a sense of suffering, of loneliness and of heartache that the reader relates to on a deep level that endears us to them.
Then the character is given a freedom that no other child is able to receive: a world of escape.
I love escaping. Be it "holing up" by not answering the phone and staying home, a guilty pleasure, a weekend getaway, these things we do recharge us and bring us refreshing. But these peices of literature I am talking about in the Narnia series, the Land of Oz books, or Alice In Wonderland, is a place where a child who has no power is given remarkable control over their world, finds friends who love them deeply and they love in return, and becomes able to rise to a challenge they never imagined themselves they could face.
Sounds like heaven. My family faced adversity every day, and escape for my wife and I has become a spiritual discipline. Harry Potter's world is my hope for a brighter future. Hogwarts express is the way to get there, taking you away from powerlessness, from unending suffering. our favorite silly things become our couple's retreat. 30 Rock on television, Extras from BBC, these are also our wonderlands. A sense of heaven in them , not in the content themselves (which many religious people I know would spew the coffee they are drinking right now if they read that!) but the ability to help us laugh through suffering, to cling to hilarity and to hope for a world that is a bit brighter because people cared to take you way from it for a little while.
Escape from this world is a good thing when you are suffering and your heart is heavy. But as in the books, one cannott stay there in the place of escape. In fact they often must choose to return to reality, with not much to bring with them except perhaps for a reminder of the time they had away. So it is with me. I must return, but in my heart, the world of escape gives me hope to return to face another day.
Anyhow, just some thoughts.
When I read many pieces of children's literature, often in the main character there is a sense of suffering, of loneliness and of heartache that the reader relates to on a deep level that endears us to them.
Then the character is given a freedom that no other child is able to receive: a world of escape.
I love escaping. Be it "holing up" by not answering the phone and staying home, a guilty pleasure, a weekend getaway, these things we do recharge us and bring us refreshing. But these peices of literature I am talking about in the Narnia series, the Land of Oz books, or Alice In Wonderland, is a place where a child who has no power is given remarkable control over their world, finds friends who love them deeply and they love in return, and becomes able to rise to a challenge they never imagined themselves they could face.
Sounds like heaven. My family faced adversity every day, and escape for my wife and I has become a spiritual discipline. Harry Potter's world is my hope for a brighter future. Hogwarts express is the way to get there, taking you away from powerlessness, from unending suffering. our favorite silly things become our couple's retreat. 30 Rock on television, Extras from BBC, these are also our wonderlands. A sense of heaven in them , not in the content themselves (which many religious people I know would spew the coffee they are drinking right now if they read that!) but the ability to help us laugh through suffering, to cling to hilarity and to hope for a world that is a bit brighter because people cared to take you way from it for a little while.
Escape from this world is a good thing when you are suffering and your heart is heavy. But as in the books, one cannott stay there in the place of escape. In fact they often must choose to return to reality, with not much to bring with them except perhaps for a reminder of the time they had away. So it is with me. I must return, but in my heart, the world of escape gives me hope to return to face another day.
Anyhow, just some thoughts.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
A Prophetic Dream
I played Joseph this week at the local VBS (Vacation Bible School). My first day I was decked out in prison garb from biblical times. I had a wig on (I am shaved bald) that was long and scraggly. That night i had a terrible sleep I was up from 1 am to 4 am, with stress and worry. I eventually fell back asleep after praying and meditating on God's Word.
Later that evening, my friend Brian and I were talking and he told me that he had a dream about me. I was stressed in the dream with long, dark full hair! We went on to talk about what was going on in my life. He woke from the dream at the time I was going back to sleep at approximately 4 am.
That is the way God sometimes reaches me. I had prayed that night for Him to speak to me, to touch my heart. He was already on it in his own loving way.
What did I receive from it? As other times, for me I am mindful of the content of the dream, however the way in which the Father reached out to me was more about his mindfulness of my life, of His kid. I needed to hear that he cares about the details of my life, to be fathered lovingly.
Later that evening, my friend Brian and I were talking and he told me that he had a dream about me. I was stressed in the dream with long, dark full hair! We went on to talk about what was going on in my life. He woke from the dream at the time I was going back to sleep at approximately 4 am.
That is the way God sometimes reaches me. I had prayed that night for Him to speak to me, to touch my heart. He was already on it in his own loving way.
What did I receive from it? As other times, for me I am mindful of the content of the dream, however the way in which the Father reached out to me was more about his mindfulness of my life, of His kid. I needed to hear that he cares about the details of my life, to be fathered lovingly.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
dream home
Well, I am not keeping this blog up very well, but life has really taken us odwn a very interesting path. As my last entry indicated, we sold our home without it being on the market, and then sat in limbo as we searched for another home. Our search led me to really seek the Father's guiding hand, and through just being open to whateveer He had prepared, we found a lovely house.
Let me backtrack.
I felt the Spirit leading me to guide my family through what my heart was going through. To pray together and sek the Lord for a new home. I felt that this was OUR journey, and they needed to witness the process of stepping out in faith. So we intentionally went out on a prayer walk as a family. We listened, made a list of wishes for the next house we were loking for and asked each of our children to listen and reflect what they heard. This was quite... well it wasnt SCARY, but it was like free falling. Im glad Im not God, because I panic too easily. What happened after this was a bottoming out of options and a bit more depseration and waiting. I heard through a friend of the fmaily that a couple nearby had their hime up for sale and it was relly nice, for the top price we had been in the market for. It was a private sale, but their buyers fell through. I set up a meeting with them to se their home and check it out (with my mommy in tow). The Holy SPirit was prompting me throughout. BE PATIENT. BE OPEN. BE HONEST. BE UPFRONT. CONNECT, IT WILL MATTER. The home was exactly what we were looking for. It was more than we were thinking we could get with our price range, with extras. My eldest son, after I took him over to meet this elderly couple, lit up. This meant the world to me, as change for him can be very trying.
Now on the sad part, the couple we bought from were facing a hardship and crisis time in their lives, thus making them need to move, which is not the way you want to se someone leave their home. THey loved their home, the view, the setup. But she could no longer navigate the stairs with her health and they were both getting too limited to keep things up the way they needed to. Our approaching them made things much simpler for them.
So now we have been in the house for a month almost. It is an amazing house for us. It has been such a rollercoaster ride of uncertainty, but of a steady level of faith that the Father had a plan,, and he would leave us unsheltered.
Faith works in interesting ways. We as a family have been praying for our next home, in my heart since we last moved 5 years ago. Faith required us to dream, to step out and initiate, to trust in providence, to have both patience and heightened expectation. It kept my eyes not on what we dont have but on the provision of the moment. It also challenged me to trust. Now reading my previous posts, you may pick up that we havent had the greatest of year in 2009. To trust confronts much of how I have perceieved life to throw curb balls, to see the darkness of humanity, to see God as someone who will allow suffering and yet bless his children immensely. These seem contradictary. I had some meltdowns. Times where trust was sodifficult, I would close my eyes and see my loving father and feel deep pain, pain that was cause by brokeness we had witnessed and suffered through. Was this move healing? Yes, I beleive it was part of the process. For one, a fresh start is helpful. But moreso, it was an excercise to see life as more than a series of unfortunate events.
My children also got to unite with me and Pam in prayer and to watch and wait as we saw the Lord initiate our dream. How precious! This was to me a milestone in our life together. One of many to celebrate. It tested us, but not in a trial way, but more in a way that confronted that which needed to learn in our hearts.
Let me backtrack.
I felt the Spirit leading me to guide my family through what my heart was going through. To pray together and sek the Lord for a new home. I felt that this was OUR journey, and they needed to witness the process of stepping out in faith. So we intentionally went out on a prayer walk as a family. We listened, made a list of wishes for the next house we were loking for and asked each of our children to listen and reflect what they heard. This was quite... well it wasnt SCARY, but it was like free falling. Im glad Im not God, because I panic too easily. What happened after this was a bottoming out of options and a bit more depseration and waiting. I heard through a friend of the fmaily that a couple nearby had their hime up for sale and it was relly nice, for the top price we had been in the market for. It was a private sale, but their buyers fell through. I set up a meeting with them to se their home and check it out (with my mommy in tow). The Holy SPirit was prompting me throughout. BE PATIENT. BE OPEN. BE HONEST. BE UPFRONT. CONNECT, IT WILL MATTER. The home was exactly what we were looking for. It was more than we were thinking we could get with our price range, with extras. My eldest son, after I took him over to meet this elderly couple, lit up. This meant the world to me, as change for him can be very trying.
Now on the sad part, the couple we bought from were facing a hardship and crisis time in their lives, thus making them need to move, which is not the way you want to se someone leave their home. THey loved their home, the view, the setup. But she could no longer navigate the stairs with her health and they were both getting too limited to keep things up the way they needed to. Our approaching them made things much simpler for them.
So now we have been in the house for a month almost. It is an amazing house for us. It has been such a rollercoaster ride of uncertainty, but of a steady level of faith that the Father had a plan,, and he would leave us unsheltered.
Faith works in interesting ways. We as a family have been praying for our next home, in my heart since we last moved 5 years ago. Faith required us to dream, to step out and initiate, to trust in providence, to have both patience and heightened expectation. It kept my eyes not on what we dont have but on the provision of the moment. It also challenged me to trust. Now reading my previous posts, you may pick up that we havent had the greatest of year in 2009. To trust confronts much of how I have perceieved life to throw curb balls, to see the darkness of humanity, to see God as someone who will allow suffering and yet bless his children immensely. These seem contradictary. I had some meltdowns. Times where trust was sodifficult, I would close my eyes and see my loving father and feel deep pain, pain that was cause by brokeness we had witnessed and suffered through. Was this move healing? Yes, I beleive it was part of the process. For one, a fresh start is helpful. But moreso, it was an excercise to see life as more than a series of unfortunate events.
My children also got to unite with me and Pam in prayer and to watch and wait as we saw the Lord initiate our dream. How precious! This was to me a milestone in our life together. One of many to celebrate. It tested us, but not in a trial way, but more in a way that confronted that which needed to learn in our hearts.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
So we sold our home. We have 5 weeks to get a new home and work everything out.
I think what freaks me out the most is the fact that this always seems to happen, after a year of trials and difficulties, we jump ship from all we know to write a new chapter. New job, new home, new placement, new church, we just pack it all up and say, okay, lets shake everything up.
Our search has brought us little consolation. We have waited five years for this next house, we have prayed , we have endured 5 harsh winters in a poorly insulated house with mice, with no furnace, and with little storage. And by little, I mean our closets are what I call our "Hobbit Holes".
We look forward to what the Lord provides next.
I think I will be changing this blog to cover more of home owning, of crazy family quirks, of us all relating to being weirdos.
I think what freaks me out the most is the fact that this always seems to happen, after a year of trials and difficulties, we jump ship from all we know to write a new chapter. New job, new home, new placement, new church, we just pack it all up and say, okay, lets shake everything up.
Our search has brought us little consolation. We have waited five years for this next house, we have prayed , we have endured 5 harsh winters in a poorly insulated house with mice, with no furnace, and with little storage. And by little, I mean our closets are what I call our "Hobbit Holes".
We look forward to what the Lord provides next.
I think I will be changing this blog to cover more of home owning, of crazy family quirks, of us all relating to being weirdos.
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