Monday, July 30, 2007

Dream House

Part of dreaming that causes me little sleep is the fact that at one place ou know your dream has to smash into reality. My house is a old one. I am a novice practical guy, learning as I go. This makes any plans very very painstaking. I can dream big, but getting the dream from paper to reality is a slow painful process. Kinda translates to other parts of life, I think. I have in the past found it very dfficult to dream big. Why? Because dreams can make old wounds sting, they can come when all obstacles appear too big and intrusive, making the bible passage, "hope deferred makes the heart sick". Its true! A broken heart needs to learn to dream again. SInce my fathers death, I have felt like the canopy on my tent was ripped off. Leaving life more vulnerable and exposed, I have fought the desperate feeling that life is pretty lonesome. But what I also noticed is that I have this need to be a kid. If my father was not around, then whose kid am I?
Being a kid, a child means to know you are taken care of, that you are somehow going to be caught if you fall down. To have someone who cares for your wounds and has the resources to help you out when you are overwhelmed.
That being said, my spirit, or heart or whatever needs to be able to dream with the covering of my father. KNowing that reality gives me peace. I have to keep my head grounded in this reality as the Father I have in my Creator is where I must transfer that displaced security. Death really confronts the hearts dreaming mechanism.
I am going to dream as I grow in this reality. And our house can only benefit from that!

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